rain rain rain. do you ever find that rain makes the day seem so gloomy? i find it makes me feel tired for some reason. like the weather affects my mood or something. a lot of people find that. it makes me wish for sun every day. but then i guess we'd all die from lack of hydration and plants and everything so yeahhh bad idea. i think this on again off again rain is kinda representing how i'm feeling right now. i'm getting mixed feelings about everything that's happening. sometimes i'm happy, other times i'm just stressed and confused. but i guess if you knew eveything in life and there wasn't such things as complications then life wouldn't be very exciting at all lol. i wanna know what everyone's thinking. i wanna be able to tap into their minds. it'd make life easier, that's for sureee. lately i've just been loving doing the simpliest things. i'm not sure whyy. but i've been loving just laying out in the sun, even without music and just listening to the birds and the wind and everything.. tuning out everything else. it's super nice. i've been sitting out in the breeze too. and just feeling the wind.. however weird that might sound lol. but i just sit there and feel where the wind is touching me on my fingers or the side of my face or my arm or whatever. and then you mix that with where you can feel the sun. it's actually like soo relaxing. like meditation to only concentrate on nature and nothing else. it makes you feel so relaxed and intune with yourself.
people need to stop being so confusing. actually i think the thing is that people need to decide. decisions need to be made in life. cause you can't just sit around and wait for stuff to happen. what's that saying? you only live once so be sure to make the right choices? yeah well tell that to the world pleasee. i'm not the type of person to let stuff get to me though. i'm.. what do you call it.. thick skulled? haha or does that mean dumb? i'm not sure lol but i don't get caught up in stupid stuff. i don't like drama and i try to stay clear of complications. but honestly people. i think one of the problems is that people don't know what they want. they don't realize stuff until it's too late. they're faced with choices and they're scared and they don't know what to do so they take the choice that they feel safest in taking. it's sad but it's true. i've been there loads of times and i hate to say it but i've taken the safe choice... a lot.
and like a rhythmed drum my heart beats faster and faster up into the sky and on to the ocean, waves that crash on the shore..the little moments.. each little grain of sand, sparkling in the sun.
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