so holy fuck it's been a while. it's probably not a good thing that i haven't been writing. it's kinda defeating the purpose to not use this blog lol. but yeahh everything's been sorta hectic with work and life and everything. i've been kinda stressed out, not so much about work but about everything else. and i just don't know what to do about some things. i'm going to finish this later cause i can't actually write right now haha my mind's going like 100000 miles a minute and it's fucking me up atm sooo laterrrrrrrrrrrr